please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
