things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
