I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
PANTIES FOUND
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