My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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