bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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