He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
