there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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