Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
