Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
