the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
