Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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