If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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