You're my little dorito
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Boobs are out for the taking
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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