she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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