just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
