he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
