That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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