You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
