I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
