I hate all girls vehemently.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
