A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
