shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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