Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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