I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I didn't notice because vodka
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
