For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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