I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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