talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
