I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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