I feel like abortions should bother me more
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
