You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
