I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
