Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
