whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
