I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
