the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
