Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
