maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
