census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
