If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
