Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
