so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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