Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
