Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
