I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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