Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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