clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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