so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
