haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
