after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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