speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
