he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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