Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
