loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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